


What Greater Gift Than the Love of a Cat?

by not_mom



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Additional tags to be added with chapters, Everyone is snarky, Family Fluff, Gen, Kittens, M/M, Pet Cat, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, Post-S&S, Rated for Four-Letter Words, alcohol mention, injury mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 14:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18639985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_mom/pseuds/not_mom
Summary: Angus brings home a cat named Kraken; Kravitz and Taako are pretty sure this is teenage rebellionIn which Angus adopts cat we're like 90% sure isn't some kind of monster, things go way less smoothly than they should, and Angus grows up with the world's weirdest bodyguard. Because she's a cat.Title is taken from Charles Dickens





	What Greater Gift Than the Love of a Cat?

Angus is kneeling on the dusty attic floor, elbow-deep in a box labeled ‘miscellaneous shit’ when he hears Taako scream from downstairs. Now, Angus may be thirteen and the world's greatest detective and a little bit familiar with screaming people seeing as he fought in the end of the world and all, but he still jumps in surprise; the ugly ceramic bowl he's holding slips from his grasp to break into three neat pieces on the floor. He whispers a swear and scrambles to his feet because that's not a delighted Taako scream, it's an afraid-and-in-pain Taako scream, and he knows enough to know the difference. The thought that anything dangerous enough to get the drop on Taako could easily wipe the floor with him doesn't occur to Angus- he's out of the attic like a shot.

Wand drawn, Angus bursts in on what is decidedly not a battle. The living room is still in one piece, couch and squashy chair and coffee table all in their places. Even Kravitz's pile of ultra-top-secret paperwork is still intact, teetering precariously close to spilling all over the rug from its position on an end table. Taako is nowhere to be seen, and a sick swell of fear rises in Angus' chest. He pivots on one foot, trying to see beyond and into the kitchen, but the house seems still. 

"Sir?" It comes out tremulous. If Taako's been kidnapped, then this is a missing persons case and he needs to start thinking analytically. "Taako, sir, what happened?" 

A door slams somewhere down the hall. _"Angus McDonald!"_ Taako's voice carries easily in this house, and in Angus' professional opinion, he sounds pissed. _"Get your scrawny ass in here, bucko!"_ With a gulp, Angus puts his wand away. 

He finds Taako in his bathroom, knocking bottles and tubes of beauty products off the shelves of his medicine cabinet in a clear search for something. The elf's hair is pulled into a haphazard bun, and while he doesn't say anything when Angus steps into the room, one of his ears flicks towards him. 

"Are you alright, sir?" Angus tries for calm and the question comes out with a small waver. Taako grunts and tosses a spare tube of toothpaste in the general direction of the sink, where it knocks over a small cluster of lipsticks. "Did something happen?" 

"You wanna tell me who brought a _demon_ into my home?" Although it's phrased like a question, Taako's voice is flat and he hasn't looked away from the medicine cabinet yet. He grabs a small tub of ointment and, before Angus can reply, continues accusingly. "Because whatever the fuck that was, Taako's not good with it. My arms are clawed to hell, I don't have the hit points for that shit." Face an irritated mask, he starts dabbing ointment Angus recognizes as a salve coming from Merle on one of four angry red scratches down his forearm. They do look painful, deeper than he would have imagined. For a second, Angus doesn't have a voice.

But his mentor (father figure? guy who basically adopted him?) is terrifying when he wants to be, so when Taako turns his glare on him Angus swallows and finds a voice, however tremulous it may be. Better than the slow, painful death he's seeing in Taako's eyes. "Did you find Kraken, sir?"

"What," Taako starts, forehead creasing the way it does when he's genuinely confused, "the fuck do you mean did I find the Kraken? Did you bring a- an infant sea monster into the house?" In a better situation, the incredulity in Taako's tone would have been funny.

"No, sir. She's a cat." Angus takes a deep breath, then another, relaxing by degrees as he watches Taako puzzle that one out. "She's my friend," he adds for good measure, and watches with more satisfaction than is maybe appropriate as Taako's eyebrows just about climb into his hairline. 

"Your friend," he echoes, then seems to remember that staring at Angus as if he's a moron is Bad Parenting and abruptly goes back to dabbing salve on his arms. "Ango, kiddo, whatever that thing was, it wasn't anyone's friend. Which, hey, look at that. I'm back to the first question: why is it lurking on my chair?" 

"She needed a place to go, sir, she-"

"Uh-uh. Nope. No hell beasts, we already have Kravitz and he's enough work to take care of. Needs walks and everything." Taako cuts him off in a tone that brokers no argument, shaking his head sternly as he watches the scratches fade. Angus half expects him to make a joke about Merle finally helping to actually heal someone, but no joke comes. Instead, after a few seconds, Taako exhales sharply through his nose and starts applying the salve to his other arm. “We aren’t keeping her.”

“Sir!” Angus shakes his head, because he’s _not_ booting Kraken out onto the streets; he just got her comfortable enough to come inside, she needs a home and some food and he’s not going to let Taako make him abandon her. 

“No, Ango. She’ll, like, she’ll eat your face in the middle of the night or something. We aren’t keeping the cat.” For a moment, Taako seems his age, three centuries (ish) of practice being stern behind his words making him sound like a parent instead of a cool older brother who shows you how to cook and lets you negotiate bedtime. 

Luckily, Angus has never let that stop him before, and he sure as hell isn’t going to start now. “Yes, we are!” Is it childish to stamp a foot on the ground and cross his arms before he storms out? Probably, but he _is_ still a child, and they’re keeping the cat, so he stomps his way to the living room where it turns out Kraken is perched atop the coffee table; he scoops her up to go slam the door to his room and blot out Taako shouting at him to _knock it off._

As soon as the door shuts behind them, Kraken twists in his arms and jumps to the ground. Angus lets her go- she’s heavy anyways. In a flash of dark fur, she disappears under his bed and a moment later he sees two very big yellow eyes staring up at him. 

“That’s not a den for you,” he informs her, and because Kraken does not speak Common she just meows softly at him. “Why did you have to claw Taako?” Angus slumps into his desk chair and sinks down to rest his head on his fist against the desk. The question doesn’t get a response, so he lets his head slide down, resting it on crossed arms. “We’re in trouble now.” 

He hears a rustle of cloth and peers up just enough to watch Kraken kneading at his pillow. The cat is nearly the size of it, and when she flops onto her side to lay down, the pillow is completely obscured by black fur. In this position, Angus has to admit that she looks more dead than not: her yellowy eyes are half-lidded and unfocused, set deep in her squashed-in face, she’s more than halfway to laying on her back, and her mouth is agape which shows off her teeth. Or- her fangs. Fangs seems to be more accurate, especially the two lower that stick out even when her mouth is closed. 

Taako may have a point about her not being entirely _cat._ And, speaking of Taako, Angus raises one hand and a corresponding mage hand flips the lock on his door. He doesn’t want this to turn into a big thing, a big conversation where Taako and Kravitz sit him down and play 20 questions trying to get him to think he’s the one that came up with the outcome they want. But he wants Taako to barge in even less. 

Angus ends up being left alone for a while. Long enough that he’s finished a book he’s been reading and done his math homework and started considering venturing out into the kitchen to make himself dinner when someone knocks softly at the door. 

“We’re keeping her!” Angus doesn’t budge from where he’s laying on his back on the bed, Kraken’s back paws in his side and tail against his neck. 

“Angus, may I come in?” To his surprise, that’s Kravitz’s voice. Kravitz is home? Kravitz wasn’t supposed to be home tonight. It’s enough to startle him into sitting up (Kraken, affronted, leaps to her feet and slinks under the bed) and summon another mage hand to unlock the door after a moment of consideration. 

“Taako said something about a cat?” Kravitz crosses the floor to take a seat in the desk chair. “Is this- Angus, is this teenage rebellion?” Angus can’t quite tell if he’s serious or not. Kravitz _is_ doing that thing where he tips his head a little sideways, but he’s also speaking way too calmly to be that confused about everything. Right? 

“No?” He answers slowly, not really sure what Kravitz wants to hear. “Just because I’m a teenager now doesn’t mean everything I do is teenage rebellion?” 

Kravitz hums in reply. Thoughtfully. 

“She- I found her a few months ago, she lived in an alley I’d pass on the way to school. It took me ages to make friends with her, I think someone dumped her as a kitten because she wasn’t _feral,_ just scared, and I can’t just leave her there, Kravitz.” The explanation comes in a rush. Angus can’t quite meet Kravitz’s gaze, feeling guilty for some reason. For never mentioning it? For thinking that her being okay with him meant she was okay with people in general and Taako getting hurt because of it? Because Kravitz is just watching him in that silent still way of his that makes him look like an unbreathing statue?

“We’re keeping her.” He crosses his arms and sits up as straight as he can manage. From beneath the bed, he hears a soft meow. It draws Kravitz’s gaze down, and Angus swears he can see his… stepdad? Adult in his life who pretends to be responsible? Go through about five arguments against keeping the cat before he rubs at his forehead and sighs. 

“Angus, that cat is not tame.” 

“Neither is Taako, and we’re keeping _him.”_

It startles a laugh out of Kravitz, and before he knows what’s happening, the reaper has a hand to his mouth to muffle a completely undignified giggle. It’s enough to break the stilted tension- Angus can’t help but feel that, whatever happens, Kravitz is at least going to listen to him. 

“Sir, it’s not like we don’t have the space, and Mr. Miller is too scared of Taako to say _no_ if I bring her to my dorm in the fall. I’ll look after her, I promise.” 

“The way Taako talked about the cat, he made it sound like she was half displacer beast.” Kravitz replies slowly, attention clearly fixed on the ground between them. Angus follows his gaze down even as he shakes his head, and finds Kraken getting ready to pounce. The cat is fixated on the feathered hem of Kravitz’s cloak, and before he can say anything- much less do anything- she launches herself forwards, claws extended, and smacks her face into the edge of the seat behind it. 

She falls to the ground with a muffled yowl and retreats back under his bed in a streak of black fur. 

Angus sighs, heavily, and drops his face into his hands. This is not a great first impression. This is the _worst_ first impression. She looks like a bloodthirsty idiot who is _definitely_ going to eat his face and probably also shred the spider plant Merle gave them that Taako pretends to hate and Kravitz secretly takes care of. 

“She just doesn’t like being touched by people she doesn’t know, I’m sorry I didn’t warn Taako.” It comes out muffled by his palms and entirely dejected.

Kravitz doesn’t reply for a long time. The silence stretches from a few seconds into what feels like a minute, then there’s a rustle of motion and a hand claps him on the shoulder. “I’ll talk to him,” the reaper promises. Kravitz leaves silently, and Angus has to look up to realize he’s shut the door behind himself. 

\---

They end up keeping her, although Taako grounds him for a week and threatens to make sure none of his food is ever seasoned again. It takes a couple of weeks for her to settle in and things to return to equilibrium: Angus knows they’re golden when he comes home late from a boat trip with Davenport and finds Taako explaining his Very Important School Paperwork to Kraken. No matter how much he insists that he and the cat are mortal enemies, Angus doesn’t buy it. Taako is clearly slipping the cat food when they’re alone, because she goes from skin and bones to decidedly round 

That’s not to say that Kraken warms up to the adults the way she has Angus. She tolerates Kravitz’s existence because (Angus suspects) the reaper knows how to act around cats. He’s the one that takes him to the pet store and points out that cats need toys and something to scratch and somewhere to hide; when Angus asks him how he knows he makes a vague comment about cats being domesticated for millennia then asks if Angus wants to get a fantasy laser pointer. And, for all his apparent knowledge of cats that he refuses to talk about, Kravitz doesn’t seem to want much to do with her. He’ll absently pet her if she approaches and splays herself out beside him, but he doesn’t go out of the way to feed her or offer a hand; he simply lets the cat come to him and politely but firmly ushers her out of his and Taako’s bedroom if she finds her way in. They reach a peaceful accord almost immediately. Taako, on the other hand, seems to be in constant opposition to Kraken. She likes sleeping on the kitchen counters, and Taako likes keeping the counters clean of hair and “things that look like roadkill, Angus.” She likes Taako’s armchair, but Taako likes sitting in his own damn chair. She likes to knock things over to see what happens, Taako likes his stuff not broken on the floor. The list goes on and on. 

“Your cat’s a brat,” Taako says to him one day a few weeks later. He gestures to Kraken, who is fast asleep in his armchair, rolled most of the way onto her back with her eyes half-lidded and mouth ever so slightly agape. With her limbs splayed out awkwardly, Angus can’t help but agree with Taako’s long-standing insistence that she looks a bit like roadkill. Sometimes. 

“That’s not my fault.” Angus looks back at his math homework, trying to remember how to simplify polynomial expressions. “It runs in the family.” He writes down _(x+3)_ then stops, erases it, and tries _(x-2)._ Taako snorts, then flicks a piece of chopped carrot at him. It lands on the edge of his worksheet, leaving a small wet spot, and Angus pops it into his mouth without looking up. 

“Yeah, well, she’s on my coat and I’m gonna need that here soon, so once you’re done with your nerd shit...” 

“It’s pre-calc.” 

“And I stopped learning math before your grandparents were born, so it’s all nerd shit. Take care of your monster.” 

Heaving the loudest sigh he can manage, Angus sets his pencil down and goes to pick Kraken up. It’s easy enough; she’s a heavy sleeper and it only takes a second to have her cradled against his chest. She raises a paw as soon as she realizes she’s been moved, claws out, but the cat looks up and realizes it’s him. Instead of getting mauled, then, she just wriggles some to get more comfortable in his grip. Taako mutters what Angus is pretty sure is Elvish for “fucking unbelievable” behind him, so he makes the very mature choice to rub it in and buries his face in the fur of her stomach, nuzzling gently. Kraken licks his ear, tongue rough, and he laughs. 

He also inhales a lot of hair and starts coughing, but that’s beside the point. The point is that he’s the cat’s favorite and she hasn’t eaten anyone’s face so Taako was wrong about trying to ban her. 

“You sure you’ll be good on your own tonight? We may be out late, get back after you’re asleep.” Taako seems to be done with the carrots, because when Angus looks up he’s dumping them into a bigger bowl. “Magnus is out of town, Lup and Barry are at work...” 

“Yes.” Angus can’t help but roll his eyes as he shifts his grip on Kraken. She’s stiff against him, and she’s gained weight since he brought her home, so holding her in one position for too long quickly gets uncomfortable. “I solve murders, you know, I think I can make it a night.”

“And you have your stone?” Taako doesn’t sound terribly concerned. In fact, if Angus didn’t know better, he’d say it sounded like the questions were by rote. Like Taako was reading them off a list he’d memorized, only half paying attention as he mixed up pot pie filling. 

“On my desk.” Bringing up that the wizard has clearly been reading parenting books won’t be helpful, so Angus carries Kraken over to the table and settles in with her on his lap to finish his homework. She, again, shifts, turning in a circle before lying down on her side. Angus pretends he’s not wincing as she somehow manages to step on his hip. “I’ll be fine. Have fun at the gala.” He ends up staring at it again, trying to puzzle out the negatives.

Taako hums at him, focused on pouring the filling into a pie crust, then blows a strand of hair out of his face as he sets the bowl down. “What goes into negative six, Angus?”

“One and six, three and- oh!” The problem he’s been trying to do clicks, just like that, and he scribbles down _(x+6)(x-1)_. Duh! He should have seen that, seen that there’s more than one way to get to five, and- “I thought you stopped learning math?”

“I did.” Taako answers serenely as he slides the pot pie in the oven. “This comes out in half an hour, if you let it burn it’s your own damn fault.” 

“When the crust starts to brown. Got it.” Angus shoots Taako a thumbs-up, the motion earning a sharp _mmrp_ from the cat. He takes the hint and is slower to reset his hand, not wanting to startle her again. (Although, come to think of it, she’s usually not so easy to startle.)

“Good. Do your homework.” Taako pulls off his apron and, with a flick of his wrist and a few words, the dishes he’s used are sparkling clean. Another spell, and the dishes are being put away by unseen hands. 

Angus rolls his eyes for good measure, then does his homework as Taako disappears to get ready for some gala that Lucas’ school is putting on as a fundraiser. He’s been insisting that he’s only going to spy on the enemy, but Angus is acutely aware that one, Lucas teaches arcane science where Taako teaches magic so the two aren’t comparable even with the overlap, and two, that Taako is planning on twisting Lucas’ arm into getting a year-round dorm set up and _that_ can’t happen if the school hasn’t got money. 

Kraken isn’t very much help with pre-calculus, but Angus doesn’t really mind. She seems content to lay on his lap but swats at his hand when he tries to pet her, and they get through almost the entire worksheet like that. She bolts when Kravitz rifts into the kitchen, of course. Cats don’t understand interplanar travel. The reaper doesn’t seem to notice, offering a quick greeting before making a beeline for his and Taako’s bedroom. 

The adults emerge twenty minutes later, dressed to intimidate. Or impress, maybe, but Angus is well-versed in how Taako and Lucas interact. Intimidate is by far the most likely option. Kravitz is in a dark suit, one that somehow feels like feathers shifting when he moves even though the material looks to be wool; he doesn’t share Taako’s penchant for bold accessories but his pocket square matches Taako’s outfit and he’s got gold loc beads decorating his hair. Taako is... Angus is pretty sure he’s not in a suit, because he’s not wearing a suit jacket. Instead, he has on a capelet over a shirt with full sleeves, dark pants, and boots with clicky heels that put him that much closer to being the same height as Kravitz. The ensemble echoes a tuxedo, somehow, and Angus is absolutely positive that it's intentional. They’re too busy bickering about something to pay any mind to the way he’s turned around on the couch to watch, and after a minute Takao clips on an earring with an air of satisfaction while Kravitz rolls his eyes and pulls a pair of gloves seemingly out of nowhere to slip on. 

“No wild parties while we’re out.” Kravitz glances over at him, smiling a little. “We’ll see you in the morning, call if you need anything.” Interestingly, Kravitz sounds like he means it. Maybe the parenting books are his?

Angus pulls a face anyways. “There go my plans,” he deadpans. “I’ll call off the rager.” 

“You think wine is gross.” Taako arches his eyebrows at him as he takes Kravitz’s arm. “I’m so worried.” 

“Guess we’ll have to trust him, seeing as we’re going to be late and you specifically told me that you weren’t going to give Lucas Miller the satisfaction of getting there before you.” Kravitz summons his scythe before Taako can retort and just like that, they’re gone. 

\---

Needless to say, Angus does not throw a rager. Instead, he makes himself up a plate for dinner and eats on the couch while texting Mavis and June about the book series they’ve been racing to finish. By half past seven, they’ve derailed entirely into swapping stories about school and family and Angus is laughing so hard he’s got tears in his eyes. Mavis is, well. To put it kindly, Mavis has gone a bit emo lately. It mostly involves wearing black and moping, as far as he can tell? Angus doesn’t need to understand all the details to know that it’s gotten ridiculously easy for him and June to wind her up. 

_So you don’t want the sparkly nail polish I was going to get you for candlenights?_ he sends, and it takes maybe half a second for Mavis’ reply to pop up. 

_I can’t believe you would even ask me that!!!!!_

_Ooh, dibs!_ June chimes in, and he can feel her grin through the stone. 

_So is that a no, or...?_

_no!!!!!_

Kraken not being around doesn’t ping as weird until he gets up to put his plate away and isn’t met with a small furry tornado purring at his ankles to try to get leftovers. She knows better than to steal food, but she’s a shameless beggar, so for her to not be taking advantage of Taako’s absence? Odd. (Is it discouraging that his cat hasn’t bothered to learn manners? Maybe it should be.) Either way, Angus goes looking for her once he’s dealt with dishes. The girls have moved on to what he thinks is friendly bickering and not a genuine argument about the pro/cons of black lipstick; he’s wholly unqualified to talk about it (having worn lipstick all of once and gotten so annoyed with it smudging onto a cup that he scrubbed it off after maybe an hour) so Angus figures it’s a good moment to slip away. 

Kraken is not curled up on Kravitz’s pillow, atop the fridge, or in Taako’s chair. It’s a little early in the night for her to be retreating to bed underneath _his_ bed, so Angus checks there last. And, lo and behold, when he gets down on his knees and lifts the bedspread, there’s Kraken, wide yellow eyes staring back at him. 

“You missed dinner.” He ignores the dust to reach a hand forward to see if she wants to be pet. Kraken’s ears flick back, eyes narrowing, and Angus freezes. So that’s a no. “Sorry for eating without you, then?” As he pulls his hand back, she meows at him, flashing teeth. He’s never had a cat before, but that’s an easy read, especially after knowing Taako. _Leave me the fuck alone._

He leaves her the fuck alone until about ten, when she yowls without any sort of warning. Angus will never admit it, but he jumps, book slipping from his hands to lie closed on the floor. He loses his place, but that’s not the point. The point is that his cat is- is in distress, or something, and he’s the only one home to help, so Angus grabs his wand from the coffee table and approaches as stealthily as he can manage. She does it again when he’s right outside, longer this time, and Angus holds his breath as he pushes the door open with his fingertips. The room appears to be undisturbed, so what is- 

Kraken chirps from under the bed, and that at least is normal enough a sound that he relaxes and walks over to have another look. “Am I supposed to be going to bed right now?” He raises his eyebrows, trying to telegraph that he’s not entirely pleased with her right now as he bets down on his knees to pull back the bedspread, and Kraken chirps again. Yep, she’s still under the bed, watching him with wide eyes, curled loosely around- around- Angus blinks, rubbing at his eyes in case it’s just dust specks playing tricks on him, but no, it’s. This sure is happening. 

Seemingly pleased with his surprise, she purrs at him and extends a paw even though she’s too far away to reach his wrist. The motion jostles the kittens laying against her side, and one squeaks so softly that Angus thinks he’s imagining it. “Oh, _shit,_ ” he whispers, and slowly lowers himself to lie flat on the wood floor, half underneath the bed. He grabs the nearest available thing to cast light on- which turns out to be a sock- and carefully tunes it to a dim white glow. Kraken bats at it before looking back to him, head tilted in a way he can only read as waiting for his approval. 

In the light, he can see that she’s curled protectively around two kittens. They’re absolutely tiny, damp and pale, and a detached part of him wonders how a black cat managed a pair of white and gray kittens. He doesn’t dare to touch. They look so delicate that he’s afraid to do it anyways. “You- I thought Taako was giving you table scraps, but it was babies?” 

Kraken still hasn’t learned Common, so she just mews at him then twists down to lick at one of the kittens.

“I can’t believe I’m a grandfather,” Angus whispers, incredulous. And then- “Taako’s going to have a conniption.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have never had cats, so I'm relying on my friends who do to make sure I don't do anything wildly inaccurate- special thanks to Elaine (epersonae) and Emi (emi_rose) for explaining to me how cats work, and for giving me all the gross details on cats giving birth! 
> 
> In my heart Kraken looks a lot like Princess Monster Truck and is some kind of (fantasy) Persian cat.


End file.
